Something about Mandy

My baby girl loved to do shopping of any kind. She enjoyed it so much that it did not even matter if she spent money or not. Just the action of window shopping left her feeling very happy. I can remember being so disappointed in my ability to shop for clothing for myself and expressing that to her she told me the next time that I went shopping I needed to take her with me. She also expressed how happy she was about this and how she has been wanting to take me shopping for a very long time. So the next time I went shopping she went with me. It started out kind of sketchy because everything that she picked out for me I said no. Then in her frustration she said this is why you brought me with you, to try things that you would not normally try. I had to laugh then because she was right so then on I started to try things on that I would have never picked out. By the time that we were done I had four new shirts and a couple of pants. We had such a good time and I was so impressed with her ability to find things that worked on this big person that I am. Jokingly she told me that I was not allowed to shop for my self ever again. So each time that I needed new clothes we went shopping. I can remember one time she said okay, lets see how much you have learned from me and pick out your own stuff. It was so funny because everything I picked up she said no, no, no, don't even, put that right back. It was so funny so I told her that she would just have to go shopping for me every time an she said no prob mom.
I never thought that she would leave this earth way before her time. I now had a daunting task in front of me shopping for the dress that I would wear to the funeral to say my last good bye to her. I broke down because she was not here to shop with me how in the world could I do this. So I called up my mother and sisters and asked if they would help me. So we went shopping and found nothing so we made another date and this time I really felt a lot of despair. I can remember standing in the Mall in one of the larger stores staring at a rack of clothing and thinking despairingly never ever again will I be able to do anything ever again with my baby girl. Feeling my self starting to fall into an abyss, I shook myself out mentally and started to focus on the task at hand. I found a rack of dresses that looked promising and turned around to tell everyone to help me pick from among these but no one was around me at all, for some reason they all at the same time had disappeared  together or separate I do not know but I thought okay I will look myself. Picking up a dress I thought to myself "This does not look to bad" but being unsure my next thought was "I wonder what Mandy would say about this dress?" and I all of a sudden felt her next to me and a thought came to my mind of laughter and so I thought okay that is my answer. So that is what I did for the next ten minutes I would pick up a outfit and listen for the gentle response. when I came across a very unattractive outfit and picked it up I immediately heard in my head before I had even picked it up off of the rack "Oh no you don't". A smile came to my face and my heart and I held it up and thought "It's not that bad" and then I next heard "If you get that I will hit you" Now that sounds funny but that is what she use to say to me when we went shopping and she did not like what I picked out. I felt my baby with me and I was able to get through the day and wouldn't you know that the next dress I picked up WAS the right dress! I miss the fun my baby and I use to have.